Since I am now pregnant and have felt a firm "No" from God when I've asked if I can please keep traveling with our mission teams, I am not able to blog about trips as I usually would...because I am simply not on them. (You have no idea how much this bums me out!)
One of my older blog posts was brought to my attention today by one of our current team members who is headed to Africa for the first time. Doesn't it mean the world to you when something you wrote or said was used by God? Isn't that what many of us search for and hope for? For God to just use us? Well, she posted on her blog today that this previous blog post was what God used to pursue her to GO visit orphans. Maybe God will use this heart breaking experience to break your heart as well, so much so that you too will step out...
I had a couple hours this morning that I could have finally have slept in...yet, I was awoken at 6 AM. As usual, I tried to go back to sleep but as I tried, the memories and realities of our last fourteen days rushed in. I've had no time to process everything as the leader. I'm always "on". Always... but here at the Adonai Hotel which feels like a big hug, thanks to their sweet service and lovely accommodations, I've had some down time and some time alone. We leave tomorrow night so our schedule has slowed down some as I'm trying to be sensitive to the team's emotions and energy which is quickly running out.
As I began processing these last two weeks, I suddenly remembered the news I heard yesterday which, had I been in the privacy of my home and not having to "hold it together" for the team, would have brought me to my knees.
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goodness that post sounds all too familiar to me... we had such a fantastic leader.
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