As some of you may have heard by now, I decided to resign from the agency Visiting Orphans. My mission and calling still remains the same and that is truly to WAKE UP the church to GO and visit orphans in their distress regardless. But I have a new mission now as well...to love a baby boy named Jordan who God finally blessed us with and to make my family the priority.
This has been a peaceful and joyous time, but also grievous, sad and difficult. I helped grow Visiting Orphans over the past two and half years to what it was with the passion to reach as many orphans as possible and to inspire as many members of Christ's church to get off of the sofa and GO help them. At times through this transition it has felt like I am cutting off a member of my body or something. Leaving something very precious behind yet still feeling it's presence in my life. Trying to learn how to go from calling Visiting Orphans "we or us" to "them and they". Watching all the Facebook status' of all the team members and leaders and not knowing exactly how to comment. Wishing I could just block anything and everything VO for awhile but at the same time dying to know what's going on.
I also wrestle with is it okay for a mom to also want to work in the calling they had before he was born or should I just be a full time mom? Am I cheating my son and husband by not giving them my complete and only focus or enriching their lives for walking out the mission of James 1:27?
Whatever the answers are, I'm so thankful for this time with my son. I pray he grows up to be completely mission minded and sold out to the Father of the fatherless.
I have arrived at a great place of peace in my life nonetheless. Not because I can make sense of everything or have all the answers, but because I know that the God I serve is always faithful and true and I know that His promises can be believed, trusted and expected. That is the most awesome Truth to know. In this world, we truly can expect change and transition, but if we have a relationship with Christ, we can count on Him and this does not change.
"Even if the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed; His loving kindness shall not depart from me, neither shall the covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has mercy on me." Isaiah 54:10
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Congratulations on the new baby. May God bless you more than He has already and comfort you in the decision to put your family first. He knows where you are in your heartache but I believe your baby is your reward for your faithfulness to your 'other family' that your put first before. I don't think you will be able to shut them off for a while because they are your heart and passion. You will find your place in both with time. Thank you for all you've done, after all, these are all our children.
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